Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Divine Messenger

"Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." - Henry James

Cercropia Moth, Messenger from Beyond
Blessed Solstice everyone!  Midsummer has come and what a bright, beautiful one it is.  I'm having a lovely summer so far.  A little different than what I've experienced in the past, but not much different than what I anticipated it being.  Lots of weekend travels, cooking out and mowing.  Not much 4-wheeler riding this year, but lots of walking around barefoot in the backyard.  And lots of hot, sunny days perfect for perfecting diving board jumps and reconnecting with old friends.

If we want to stick our feet into the rabbit hole for a spell, we can discuss that which is slightly below the surface.  Summer is the time when the masculine energies are at their peak.  Action manifests as a result of the springtime idea planting.  I've spent a lot of time woeing and wondering when my writing practice was going to spring back to life.  I've prayed and cast spell.  I've sought advice and researched.  What I've come to find is that inspiration is fickle, and sometimes you can't find it no matter how hard you try.  Sometimes you have to just work your ass off through the sludge and wait for inspiration to find you.  Sometimes creative work is a hard-earned battle.  And sometimes it is a summer afternoon when you begin in the morning, and the next thing you know it's evening and you've spent the whole day doing what you love.  Time has no meaning when you are congruent with your purpose.  But sometimes you just have to trust the mystery and the messenger (or the moth).

"Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." - Gene Fowler

After 18 months of wearing creative shoes of concrete and slopping through the shit, I am happy to report that I finished the last chapter in Part 5/Book 5 of The Wicked Garden series last Saturday.  Interestingly enough Saturday evening Jon, after working major overtime, came home with a dead Cercropia Moth (me holding it above) that he found where he works.  It is a beautiful, fragile thing.  I didn't see it as a message then, but two days later I thought perhaps it was a totem.  I looked it up online, and indeed... the Cercropia Moth is considered a messenger from beyond, and I am listening so close for the message.  Also serendipitously, I had pulled the Transfiguration card (Death) from the Wizard's Tarot Deck before I saw the treasured moth or knew Jon had found it.  (See the image below)  Perhaps I just needed to get to the end of this Part 5 in order to close a certain part of my life.

The first four parts of this epic novel I am writing flowed out of me so fluidly two summers ago.  I remember that summer so fondly.  I had a year of sobriety under my belt, and my creative river was free of pollution for the first time in many years.  I was full of life.  Aphrodite served as my creative muse as the ideas and passion flowed, and Hermes served as a very vibrant, healthy animus as my ideas were put to the page.  It was the best summer of my life.  I have never felt so inspired and so on purpose.  Ever.


But the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow's not as bad as it seems (so says Billy Joel).  My writing all but came to a halt in October of 2010 (right before a bitter divorce was to begin that spring).  I struggled through Part 5.  Oh it was a struggggggle.  And I am so happy to see the first draft finally complete.

"Go ahead, struggle through it.  Pick up the pen already and put it to the page and stop whining. Write."  - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I began Part 6 last night.  Just a couple paragraphs, but it was something, and I'm happy that I'm still in writing mode.  A dear friend of mine from high school came back into my life about a month of so ago.  She too has been writing a book, and so we are finding encouragement and support with each other.  It is almost a dream come true to have a cheerleader, an earth angel nudging you toward your purpose.  I am utterly grateful for her reappearance.  It couldn't have come at a better time.

In addition to having human support, I've also invoked the muse Calliope for assistance, and will be looking to Aphrodite and Hermes again as well.  Hermes means so much to me, and I feel he comes to me often, but I find myself needing to look closer.

So now here I sit within the mystery once again.  The mystery of the blank page.  The mystery of inspiration, imagination and peculiar messengers.  If I look a little closer, I think I might find that I AM a manifested version of the Messenger.  Delivering words and ideas straight from the Divine Wow.  Now that is something to consider.

Happy Midsummer Friends
Infinitely Yours, Lenora

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